Losing, Humility and Good Sportsmanship, updated

Part of showing respect to fellow martial artists, to your instructor, to your school and to your style, is to be a good sport, to know how to lose.

I have learned teaching Little Dragons, that losing gracefully does not usually come naturally. The Little Dragons fought over things as small as which of the highest ranks got to be on the number 1 spot during lineup. (For that, I finally instituted rules. )

I am slowly learning to deal with children who throw tantrums after losing a flag sparring match, or a relay race, or…  We simply remove the child from the environment and continue the class.

Eventually, children learn that they do not get to participate unless they behave, but the pain of losing is real, and they have to deal with it.

That all takes place inside the studio, and can be dealt with easily even if it doesn’t work the first time.  However, I also see a lot of bad behavior at tourn-aments when judging does not go the   way the competitors think it should.

And it isn’t just the competitors. Sometimes it’s the parents. If their child loses, it must be the judges, the scoring system, whatever, as long as it’s not their child. It seems to me that more and more adults are reaching adulthood not having learned to lose.

Knowing how to lose is an essential part of competing. It is the most essential part of good sportsmanship. During Summer Camp last year, we discussed “Humility.” I asked for examples  of  humility.  A  Little  Dragon

responded that it was saying “Good Job” when someone else wins.

This was one of those 5-year-olds who threw temper tantrums when she lost, but at least she knew what she was supposed to do.

And this year, she came back to camp, and she did it, even congratulating the person who beat her. It can be learned.

And yes, that is what I expect of all of our students, in class, and at tournaments, and at any other public event, no matter what.

It doesn’t matter if the judges are biased. It doesn’t matter if your opponent wins by a fluke. It doesn’t matter if you really  know you should have won. None of that matters. No matter what, if you lose, you shake your opponent’s hand and say “Good job.”

Our policy is that neither competitors nor their family members should complain to the judges, or complain to the tournament officials.

They may complain to me or any other black belt from our studio as long as it is out of hearing range of others.

If there is anything that could/should be dealt with with tournament officials, leave us to deal with it.

But as long as you represent ETTSD at a tournament I expect you to show good sportsmanship. And if you go out of your way to show good sportsmanship, I’ll be sure to tell you “Good job!”

Knowing how to lose is an essential part of competing. It is the most essential part of good sportsmanship. During Summer Camp last year, we discussed “Humility.” I asked for examples  of  humility.  A  Little  Dragon

responded that it was saying “Good Job” when someone else wins.

This was one of those 5-year-olds who threw temper tantrums when she lost, but at least she knew what she was supposed to do.

And this year, she came back to camp, and she did it, even congratulating the person who beat her. It can be learned.

And yes, that is what I expect of all of our students, in class, and at tournaments, and at any other public event, no matter what.

It doesn’t matter if the judges are biased. It doesn’t matter if your opponent wins by a fluke. It doesn’t matter if you really  know you should have won. None of that matters. No matter what, if you lose, you shake your opponent’s hand and say “Good job.”

Our policy is that neither competitors nor their family members should complain to the judges, or complain to the tournament officials.

They may complain to me or any other black belt from our studio as long as it is out of hearing range of others.

If there is anything that could/should be dealt with with tournament officials, leave us to deal with it.

But as long as you represent ETTSD at a tournament I expect you to show good sportsmanship. And if you go out of your way to show good sportsmanship, I’ll be sure to tell you “Good job!”